Before our first daughter was born, my husband made it a point that we had a date every week, and I completely did not appreciate it. At the time, I neither understood the value of our dates or his effort in expressing affection to me. And our dates were not just dinner and a movie or something easy, but he would really take the time and effort to plan something fun, special, and exciting for both of us. I often was just too tired, overwhelmed, overloaded, and over occupied with EVERYTHING that I wouldn’t want to go on a date with my husband; particularly while we were going through fertility treatments which seemed like a full time job in itself (in addition to my actual full time job). I was so emotionally exhausted that taking a nap sounded so much more appealing than a night out. I got so worked up and focused on trying to have a child that I forgot that my spouse was a gift. I forgot to appreciate my husband, but at the same time, I also forgot that he was not my everything. Before trying to have a child I had made him my everything, and then as we were trying to have a baby, conceiving became my everything. My priorities were totally out of whack. I should have put God first, husband second, and conceiving last. I am sharing this not to tell you what to do or how to feel, but to share that the way I did it didn’t go so well. I felt that if I had my priorities rearranged as God first, husband second, and children third, life would have been much smoother.

Little did I know that it would never be so easy again to go on a date, especially spontaneously once we had her. With a child at home now, a weekly date night is unheard of and after coordinating the when, where, and childcare, I would rather stay home (and roll up in bed with a book). Last year we purposefully tried for a bimonthly date, but were only consistent with about once a month. But for this year, we’ve resolved to have at least two date nights a month. I am proud to report that for January, we were able to go on two dates. The first one was indoor rock climbing, and the second was an early Saturday morning breakfast at our local greasy spoon. Nothing fancy, but fun. Anyway, isn’t marriage suppose to be fun?

My prayer for you is to not be so tired, overwhelmed, and overloaded that you stop enjoying your husband. I speak that the two of you will have dedicated time together, to catch up, and to be reminded of why you said “I do.”

BONUS:

Plan a spontaneous date night with your husband (and not for Valentine’s Day). It doesn’t have to be super elaborate or expensive; just something quirky and fun that both of you would enjoy. The goal is to reconnect with each other, and have fun with each other!

XOXO,

Brandi

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